The gift of bull shit

I find it so interesting how easy it is for some to lie, to convince someone they are speaking the truth while lying or avoiding the topic all together. How easy it is to convince someone that you care, that you love them. It works for politicians, criminals. It works in relationships both personal and professional.

I follow a lot of crime blogs, lie detection etc. Why, because I once wanted to be a criminal prosecutor. But, I have an extreme phobia of public speaking that I have unsuccessfully tried to overcome… and being that face that puts criminals behind bars, I will admit that is somewhat frightening.

So, instead I went into Human Resources and I follow cases and blogs on the side and hope that those that do the job I am not able to do, do it right. But more and more…I am disappointed .

Now I have always been very observant. Even before I started reading about lie detection, statement analysis etc, The older I got, the more I have just gotten it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I am not rocket scientist or math wiz… but common sense….. I have that. Seeing past the sales pitch… I have that. I don’t just buy into the hype. I am not easily swayed and I for sure do not believe just because I was told. I want facts, I want proof. Or I question it. It sure has not made my life easier.  So, I have learned to keep my mouth shut (thus, why sometimes my only outlet is to write) or just let things go. But it never leaves my mind. I have not accepted it or just believed. I just choose not to fight a fight I know I may never win.

I question what others just assume. Even if I don’t shout it from the roof tops, I do question it. I would hear the deception or hear the missed response. Not always sure why, that is until I began studying about lie detection and my soul mate….”statement analysis”. Yes I said soul mate. Statement Analysis was like the light that finally when off for me that made things make more sense.  

Now I have mentioned in a prior post that I am sure that the reason I am this way stemmed from my child hood….. My mother is a pathological liar. I don’t mean she exaggerates, or bends the truth…..she outright lies. Her reasons vary….. sympathy, control, or just to simply win an argument etc… she lies. She lives breathes and lies. She is probably one of the best. She still lies to this day and convinces many. I think part of that is why I can see deception in the little things. I watched the pro lie my whole life.

I also see this deception at work. Meetings are especially fascinating.

I recall a meeting an old boss. He was asked a question I initially thought he would refer to me. I knew very well he had no clue what the process was…since it was something that I and I alone managed. Sure he was my boss, and technically that falls under his scope, but in this case, I knew for a fact he did have the answers.  

Instead….he instead proceeded to ramble. Not even about the question, in fact, I sat there wondering just what exactly he was even talking about the entire time. He just went on and on and on.

I initially was sure everyone would be confused and the question would be again asked with clarification and I would need to interject. Instead, as I looked around the room…. Rather than seeing baffled faces, they seemed engaged, hanging on every word. When he finally stopped speaking…. Everyone seemed, well, impressed…..as if he had answered the question and went above with his response. When in fact, he didn’t answer the question at all. I was shocked. Not only did they feel that he had sufficiently answered the question, which he had not, they were impressed?!?!? Was I just in the same room?

It took me a while to understand. But after years of watching this occur, I realized that there are those that just speak well. They use pretty words, they have the right tone, the right pace.

I came to call this the BS ability.

They can bull shit their way through anything because they speak well. They flow their words well, they sound educated and knowledgeable. Even having no knowledge at all.

Once I figured this out, it was like a piece of the puzzle…. Just a piece.

 

Figuring this out also allowed me to finally understand the success of a friend of mine……

A friend who is….. for lack of a better way to put it, a “pot head”….

Now to clarify, by “pot head” I do not mean she smokes pot occasionally or even after work and on the weekends.  

No, she is a certifiable text book pot head. She is stoned every day, ALL DAY. She smokes pot as soon as she wakes while most of us are having our morning cup of coffee. She has pot in her baked goods that she eats at work. ALL DAY. She sneaks to the rest room to smoke a joint before meetings. She smokes pot all day…..every day……

She will tell her employer she has meetings, interviews with clients then smoke pot and sleep for hours. She has told me time and again that she works maybe 2 hours a week…

She is a queen bull shitter.

So good, she has managed to be employee of the year many times. Recruiter of the year many years in a row. And, not for a small company, but a fortune 500 company. And she does nothing and she does it stoned.

She lied about her education. She lied about her experience. She lies about her criminal past. Yet time and again, she lands the job, closes the deal and brings in 6 figures.

Being a top producing recruiter myself, I fail time and again to land those high paying jobs or to get the credit I deserve for actual hard work. I am NOT a bull shitter. 

It is unreal but it's true. 

Most our leaders are really nothing more but bull shitters. 

 

Madeline McCann E-fits really Gerry?

I firmly believe that the Smith family saw Gerry carrying a dead Madeline from their vacation rental that night she “disappeared”.  

The Smiths provided the description for the e-fits. 

Gerry and Kate did not allow them to be released.

But why? If you are innocent, to me the timing of the Smith sighting would lead me to believe that was the “real kidnapper”.

If your child was kidnapped and someone sees a child being carried away immediately after… What would you do? Would you want to talk to them? Would you want to hound them for every single detail possible? I would. It would haunt me. I would beg them for more information. Anything at all. 

Gerry and Kate did not do this.

Ask yourself why. 

Because they knew this was not a kidnapper. It was Gerry they saw. Sure the Smiths have since taken back that claim that they are sure it was Gerry. But I think it’s safe to say they were facing a lawsuit and/or harassment. Look what happened to the lead PJ on the case. Gerry and Kate destroyed his career, his life. And when he wrote a book, a book that clearly is based on facts in the case, they are suing him. 

They won’t stop. I am sure the Smiths were  warned about what could happen if they did not stop.

Some have even said the e-fits look nothing like Gerry. I beg to differ. 

Missing child or homicide?

Each time I hear a story of a missing child it breaks my heart. There are so many evil people out there, that the thought of what they could be going through is horrifying.

What is worse however, is the thought that the child is actually harmed by mom or dad… or both.

It seems like we have had so many missing cases over the last few years that look more like harm came to the child in their own home by the very people that should protect them with their own lives.

I have talked about a couple of these cases on my blog. It is infuriating. What is even more infuriating is that these parents are getting away with it. 

How is it that the average Joe Citizen is outsmarting the police? Some of these average Joes are druggies who struggle to survive, hold down a job etc. but they are getting away with murder? These are not rocket scientists. 

Have police gotten lazy, stupid? Or are these monsters just getting smarter.

I am just not sure anymore.

But I see past the bullshit even if the physical evidence does not exist. 

For me, there two main things that a parent of a missing child will do that immediately takes me from a missing child case to a potential murder/cover up.

 

1.       They do not search/call out for the child

2.       They speak of the child in past tense.

 

Let’s discuss this further.

 

1)       Mom and dad do NOT search or call out for the child

How do you NOT search? Your child is missing and you sit at home and do what? Wait? Wait for what. The only reaction is searching.

Most of us parents have had the child dart under the clothes rack at the store, or wander to the next isle. We know that panic. I have felt it. It was the clothes rack. It was seconds and the fear that overcame me is unexplainable. FEAR, PANIC. A loving parent feels nothing less.

I follow a blog about Statement analysis by Peter Hyatt. He made a comment about a parent that does not search. He basically said it would be like losing your child at the store and instead of frantically searching, you got in your car, went home and waited for someone else to find them. I don’t know a single parent that would do that.

So when I see this lack of searching…..I am instantly concerned and begin to see the parents as the main suspect.

 

The panic, fear. It should take over. It should be a natural instinct as a loving parent. There is no other reaction. I have seen cases where mom and dad searched till they could not walk, searched places that were dangerous, dug in trash dumpsters, searched high and low. That is the only type of parent that should be a parent. The rest in my mind are guilty.  Even if it is not of murder, but neglect.

One thing that I have seen for years is that so many people wish to dispute these expected reactions from mom and dad. Callers on the Nancy Grace show, followers of a blog, etc. I see it over and over and over again. The response is always “everyone reacts different”.

This is always said in defense of the mom and dad. 

One example I have seen was with the case Isabel Celis (see my blog post on this case). Mom and dad did nothing. They did not search and they did not speak out. Instead, they sat in their home for 2 weeks. When they finally emerged…. Only because they pressured…. What was the reason mom gave for not speaking out…. “WE WERE GREIVING”. 

FAIL. 

While I can understand this word to some degree, I just find that choice of words very out of order for a “KIDNAPPING”. 

The child is just missing. She could have wondered off. Typically people do not grieve immediately after they discover their child missing but rather go into a panic, they are fearful, they are motivated to find that child.

To sit in your room and cry is something that I would expect when you got the news that the child was found deceased. Even if months have gone by with no leads I can under stand grieving. 

But immediately after, your natural instinct would be to find them. 

My cousins little girl walked out of the house once. The door was shut but we think the wind blew it back upen and she walked out. 

Now, she was found safe. Let me start with that..... She just walked to the house next door and was quietly playing in the back yard. 

But it was a good 3 minutes before she was found. My cousin (her mom) was in a panic I have never seen before. She was screaming her name, she was running, looking under every tree, in every yard, SCREAMING. People were coming out of their homes and began helping. They began searching their yards and that is where she was found.

Now imagine this same scenario. Imagine that my cousin just closed the door and cried. Does that make any sense to you?

Then how these people can excuse that behavior is beyond me.

There is no excuse.

If you do not search…... If you do not call out for your child….  You are now the prime suspect in my mind. And I am at this point concerned the child is in fact not alive and you know this. You know there is nothing to search for.

PERIOD.

 

Sergio and Becky Celis  

Gerry and Kate Mccann

Billie Jean Dunn

Justin DiPietro

Greg and Ericka Lewis

To me you are all responsible for your Child’s disappearance. Your actions from day one told me that. Your continued lack of concern, effort, or action has proven it over time. 

 

2)       Mom and dad speak of the child in past tense

Let me ask you a question. You don’t even need to be a parent.

Tell me about your mom, dad, sister, son, cousin. Pick one that is alive and well. Tell me how you would describe them.

Would you say:

They WERE funny.

They WERE loving.

They WERE sweet.

I LOVED her/him

Or would you say:

They ARE funny.

They ARE loving.

They ARE sweet.

I LOVE her/him

 

If they are alive, they “ARE FUNNY”. If they are alive you “LOVE THEM”. Using past tense when your child is MISSING, tells us that in your mind, that child is not “missing” and ALIVE but no longer living.

This goes back to what I have learned in statement analysis.

As a child we learned pronouns. We learned verb tense. It is one thing that is used every time we speak. It is instinctive. Its natural.

Verb tense does not lie.

We speak of our kids, our spouse in present tense. 

It is that simple. Verb tense does not lie.

 

 

Parents that do not search, may just be neglectful. But parents that do both…..do not search, call out and speak of the child in past tense….

To me, they are guilty. 

Period. 

 

Isabel Celis

So the case of “missing” Isabel Celis was back in the news in the recent months. Local law enforcement was hoping to get some new leads. 

Now, I believe mom and dad are responsible for Isabel’s disappearance. Their latest statements have confirmed my beliefs.

When the news showed back up on their door step, instead of 2 parents desperate to find their daughter and grateful that they are looking again…. This is what they said to reporters. 

Now to be clear, I listened to the video to transcribe Beckys statement for a good 30 minutes.. I had to replay and pause several times. So, what you are about to read is what she said. It was akward and I struggled to make any sense of it in any way or see a mother who is still out there trying to find her baby girl. 

BECKY: It’s a good thing.. It’s a thing that you know and you see them and you know that there are gonna.. they are trying um im hoping that what.. yah know that’s the thought that they are trying and trying to get what they need out of this and so it’s a positive but has a negative effect too, it does bring back the memories of the whole thing. 

SERGIO: "We have a lot of questions that aren't answered, a lot of things that we wish we could just close the book on. But until then, there's so many things that are left so wide open. You know, they did so much digging right here right here, in our house, right here between me and Becky, into our family, you know, we have already been stripped away from our little daughter and we were violated all over again. And we're hoping that this time around maybe someone else can get the attention. And maybe that, you know, all that strength, and all that force, can go somewhere else and we can really get down to a lot of answers," 

Then when Becky was asked what she wanted to say to Isabel if she was listening and she said this

BECKY: “Baby we're still looking for you, baby. Don't give up and don't give up here. We're still out here, looking. Don't give up. We haven't given up so we hope that she never does, either," 

Interesting… Sergio NEVER says he wants his daughter home. Just that he wants the attention off them. If your child was kidnapped, and you didn’t know if she was hurt, scared, in pain, would your focus be on you or your child? Mine would be on my child.

And note that Becky does not talk about Isabel as I would expect her too. And to say they are “still out here looking” I wish the reporters would ask “what have you done too search” cause I don’t believe they have done a thing 

She rambles for on sometime and says nothing really about wanting her child home. 

I don’t trust these parents and I am so upset that nothing has been done. 

HERE IS THE LINK:   http://www..tucsonnewsnow.com/story/24463241/tpd

Is anyone buying Oscar Pistorious’s story?

I for one am NOT.

First of all, who breaks into a home then locks themselves in a bathroom stall?

NO ONE!

Then if you are lying in bed with your partner, if you hear a noise, I think most of us wake them up. I know I have heard noises and my immediate response is to wake up my husband. 

Now, I get the whole being scared, living in a high crime country and having had death threats. But if you are scared, and you have 2 paths of about equal distance…. A robber in a closed bathroom stall or getting out of your home to safety, what would you do?

I think if you are scared to death, so much so that even turning the lights was too scary… you are not rushing towards a robber. You would want to rush from them. 

I think very few would choose to confront the robber. Especially if you think they are in a small closed room the opposite direction of the exit.

I just don’t buy that.

Here is the floor plan. Decide for yourself.  

But to me, I think if you were faced with this, and were sure the noise was coming from the toilet, wouldn’t you assume it was your partner? If not, my first reaction would be to wake up my spouse. Not just start shooting. 

He then states “I felt trapped as my bedroom door was locked and I have limited mobility on my stumps”. WHAT? How are you trapped in a locked bedroom door when you are in that bedroom? He was not locked in. This sounds more like someone trying to explain why he didn’t get Reeva and bolt out of the apartment. Since again, it would have been quicker to leave the bedroom and possibly get out of the house than going into the bathroom. 

Now we have heard from neighbors who have stated that they hear “blood curdling” screams from a WOMAN followed by shots then screams from Oscar.

Does that sound like what Oscar claims happened? Not at all. Sure it’s his word against theirs but there is more than one person that heard the screams from a woman and it does not benefit them to lie. Oscar on the other hand is trying to save his own life. He has all the motivation to lie. 

I also have a big issue with when he chooses to put on his prosthetic legs. If you thought you had robbers in your home….. And you were on stumps…. I would think for the sheer ability to have better movement, this is when he would have put on his legs. Instead he claims he went after a robber on his stumps. Putting himself at even greater risk(not being able to run) and then upon discovering it was Reeva in the bathroom, then now takes the time to put on the stumps. Then instead of calling the police first, he phones a friend.

He sure took his time.  

If you have a life on the line, who would you call first? Would you call for help or would you put on your stumps and call a friend?  

This case really looks to me like murder after a fight. 

My theory matches what many have said.

They fought. 

She became scared and ran to the bathroom and locked the door. 

He chased her.

I then think that he initially tried to get to her in the locked bathroom by hitting the door with the bat. I think he would have hit her with that.  I think when that did not work, he went back and got his gun and shot her. I think he then still could not get into the room and hit the door again. I think if she had been alive still, he would have still killed her. 

I think in his anger, it was his intention to kill Reeva. He may or may not feel remorse now. But I do think the majority of the crying is at least due to his sheer fear of going to jail and not about Reeva. 

Oscar Pistorious

Is anyone buying Oscar Pistorious’s story? 

I for one am NOT.

First of all, who breaks into a home then locks themselves in a bathroom stall?

NO ONE!

Then if you are lying in bed with your partner, if you hear a noise, I think most of us wake them up. I know I have heard noises and my immediate response is to wake up my husband. 

Now, I get the whole being scared, living in a high crime country and having had death threats. But if you are scared, and you have 2 paths of about equal distance…. A robber in a closed bathroom stall or getting out of your home to safety, what would you do?

I think if you are scared to death, so much so that even turning the lights was too scary… you are not rushing towards a robber. You would want to rush from them. 

I think very few would choose to confront the robber. Especially if you think they are in a small closed room the opposite direction of the exit.

I just don’t buy that.

Here is the floor plan. Decide for yourself.  

But to me, I think if you were faced with this, and were sure the noise was coming from the toilet, wouldn’t you assume it was your partner? If not, my first reaction would be to wake up my spouse. Not just start shooting. 

He then states “I felt trapped as my bedroom door was locked and I have limited mobility on my stumps”. WHAT? 

Ok,initially this sounded pretty bogus but I have sense learned that the locks in his home were the old style with keys that lock the door. AND, that he locks his door at night. 

Interesting... 

This is now part of my overall theory I will discuss below.

Now we have heard from neighbors who have stated that they heard "blood curdling” screams from a WOMAN followed by shots then screams from Oscar.

Does that sound like what Oscar claims happened? Not at all. Sure it’s his word against theirs but there is more than one person that heard the same screams from a woman and it does not benefit them to lie. Oscar on the other hand is trying to save his own life. He has all the motivation in the world to lie. 

I also have a big issue with when he chooses to put on his prosthetic legs. If you thought you had robbers in your home….. And you were on stumps…. I would think for the sheer ability to have better movement, this is when he would have put on his legs. Instead he claims he went after a robber on his stumps. Putting himself at even greater risk(not being able to run) and then upon discovering it was Reeva in the bathroom, then now takes the time to sit down put on the stumps. Then instead of calling the police first, he phones a friend.

He sure took his time.  

If you have a life on the line, who would you call first? Would you call for help or would you put on your stumps and call a friend?  

This case really looks to me like murder after a fight. 

My theory matches what many have said.

They fought. 

I think that at some point during the fight, Reeva may have felt threatened. BUT, since the bedroom was locked (let's assume he kept the key elsewhere) so leaving the room was just not an option. So the only place she could get distance from Oscar was the toilet stall. 

I also think it's possible she was going to leave, but he got to the bedroom door first and grabbed the key preventing her from leaving. 

She then became scared and ran to the bathroom, the only place left to run and locked the door. With the key. 

He chased her. 

I then think that he initially tried to get to her in the locked bathroom by hitting the door with the bat. I think he would have hit her with that had he gotten to her. 

I think when that did not work, he went back and got his gun and shot her. 

I think he then either was still trying to get to her or at this point he snapped out of his rage in light of what he had done and still could not get into the bathroom and hit the door again breaking a panel so he could reach in and unlock the door. I think if she had been alive still, depending on his state of mind, he may have still killed her. 

I think in his anger, it was his intention to kill Reeva. He may or may not feel remorse now. But I do think the majority of the crying is at least due to his sheer fear of going to jail and not about Reeva. 

The tears and vomiting could be that he realizes that he could spend the rest of his life in jail. 

Being that he has a judge that is outspoken about violence against women and has even put a cop behind bars, I think that rules out any chance she can be bought or feel sympthay for him. 

I think the odds are against him.

If I had to vote today, I would say he will be convicted. 

I will post my thoughts after he testifys.

This should be interesting. Much like Jodi Arias. Lies. 

Burglars kidnapped Madeleine now?

Wow... The level of bullshit on this case never stops piling up.

Yet there are still many that think she was kidnapped and her parents are just victims.

It kills me just how stupid people are.