Expected reaction to your own missing or deceased child…

I am always shocked by the comments people leave on blogs, forums, etc supporting parents of missing or deceased children who have shown unexpected reactions.

By unexpected, I mean a lack of emotion, a lack of urgency, lack of well, tears….

The most common defense is “everyone responds different”

This is true.

Uncaring or responsible parents respond one way.

Loving innocent parents another.

I am not wrong.

People always want to argue with this point.

But I am not wrong.

You have 3 types of parents in my mind.

·         Loving protective parents

·         Narcissistic parents

·         Evil parents.

Loving protective parents put their childs needs first. There children are raised with love. They would put their lives in harms way to protect their children. This is the only way a parent should be. The others have no right being parents.

Narcissistic parents are those that put their own needs first. They may love their children, but their needs, wants desires come first. Their happiness, their desires come first. The loss then of this child would be shortly grieved if at all.

Then we have the evil parents. Evil parents do not love their children and will abuse, neglect and often kill them.

Let’s further break this down by looking at parents who have been in the news that fall into each category.

Let’s first take a look at the parents of Natalie Holloway. When they learned that their daughter did not arrive with her group to fly home from Aruba, they IMMEDIATELY were on a plane to Aruba. They immediately searched. They tracked down leads. They harassed the main suspect, they dug through landfills, they broke into crack house etc. There child was missing and rather than just go about their lives, they made finding their daughter a priority. They clearly love her. They put themselves at risk for her. This is what a loving parent does. It is instinct.

Next let’s loook at the narcissistic parents of Madeleine McCann. Gerry and Kate. I fully believe they drugged their children in order to go out and party with friends. Especially with all the information that was learned after about how difficult it really was to get the children to sleep (look at Kate’s own diaries). I do not believe that 3 children in the same family go to sleep easily at 7:30 and sleep through the night. Especially as I have said before, on vacation with other children. My son at those ages while on vacation or even with family around would never sleep. Children become excited and have more energy than normal.  Parents with children know this to be true. So I am sure that is why that fateful night, the kids all fell asleep promptly at 7:30. Now my belief is Madeleine woke up (not all kids respond the same to medications) and was likely looking for her parents and was likely scared and frantic and fell behind the couch and died there as a result of that fall. Especially since no one was there to get her medical treatment.  Now ask yourself, would you leave your 2 and 3 year old children alone? Gerry and Kate both have failed to take responsibility for the danger they put their kids in. They have instead defended this. WHY? How do you feel this is acceptable. They claim someone in social services said it was perfectly safe. LIES. This is illegal in most places. And Gerrys efforts to compare this to being in your garden (which is like your backyard for those in America) is total bullshit. The detectives and a criminal profiler traced the steps from the Tapas bar to the room they rented. It takes 1.5 minutes to walk this distance. This is not like your backyard Gerry McCann. I live in a neighborhood with yards that average about 7000-8000 square feet. I left my house the other day and I walked for 1.5 minutes. I was 7 houses down. So Gerry McCann. This may be like being in a garden, but in the garden 7 houses down the street. So I am sorry, but this is not safe.

And let’s consider another point. Even if they were checking every 15 minutes as they claim. Have you ever seen the news where a child has drown in the backyard pool? Yah, you have. What do they always say? I only turned my back for a MINUTE. So, what have you just learned? That in a mere MINUTE a child can come into harms way. So now we have  adults leaving 3 children alone for at least 15 minutes. And they were not even checking on them. But rather listening. So that child that drown in the backyard, if you only listened and they had stopped breathing, would you walk back inside? Considering that there may be time to save them with CPR. But sure, listen. If all is quiet they must be fine. 
That is the logic they used.

They have never then taken accountability for their actions. They feel this was perfectly safe. They said it themselves.
But it’s not safe. And if I made this horrible decision, regardless of what harm happened to my child, I would never forgive myself. NEVER. I would blame myself, my actions every day for the rest of my life.  Gerry and Kate did NOT blame themselves.

In fact, a few days later were laughing and smiling at what would have been Madeleine’s birthday. Really? I have seen comments explain this behavior stating that they had balloons fly into their faces. So really? Your child has been “kidnapped” and you are celebrating her birthday without her… The horror of what typically happens to kidnapped children is not on your mind? You are not haunted. Enough that balloons in your face would bring you joy and laughter? Sorry but that just would not happen with the loving parents. They would be so devastated that the balloons would not make them laugh or smile. Nothing would! Then days later, the family is resuming their vacation activities, leaving the remaining kids at the child center and well, as Kate herself wrote in her own diary “slept well”. How do you sleep well when your child has been “kidnapped”. How does the horror she may be facing not haunt your ever minute? How do you just move on. Because as I said above, they care more about themselves than their children.

And the fact is, they NEVER SEARCHED for this child.

The millions they have made from the fund and from suing other people has benefited them and them alone. It has not been used to look for Madeleine. But to pay their mortgage and sue for more money.

And hey Kate, if you just used the fund (and searched for your child) for its purpose and didn’t waste it suing people then you would not have needed to write a book to make money for the fund. The fund that is NOT used for finding your daughter. So did you write this book to help find Madeleine or did you write this book for you. To make you and Gerry more money and to, well what I believe, address all the guilty behavior and actions away.

Narcissistic parents at their best!

Then we have evil. We have the parents that have abused their children and typically have either killed their child during the abuse or simply to get rid of them. This is what I think Justin DiPietro did. He did not want Ayla. Yet fought to get her while mommy was in rehab. Took out a life insurance policy and failed to get her medical care for prior breaks and bruises. EVIL. Then the child disappears and he does what? He goes about his own life. Does not report her missing for days. EVIL. I believe he killed that poor child. ON PURPOSE. He is evil! He deserves the death penalty. Nothing more.

So defend away. But the fact is, loving parents will love and protect their child. They will put their childs needs above their own. They will search for a missing child and will be angry if their child is murdered. FACT FACT FACT.

Dispute it all you want, but there is no other reaction.